We need to express ourselves
The good , happy, unpleasant and brutal
“You are free to make your own choice and express your instinctive potentiality.”
― Shannon Lee, Be Water, My Friend: The Teachings of Bruce Lee
Us humans need to express ourselves; it’s only natural. It lives within us wanting to burst out and go into the world. If this is denied, holding what we feel within, it is not good.
To follow on further as to why it’s not good, it seeps out and finds its way out of us. For instance, if you’re hanging with a person, get comfortable with them and pretty soon you realize that you like them. Then one day as you’re saying bye to them, “I love you” slips out. Well there was a Freudian whoopsie; the unintentional error revealing the unconscious thoughts, feelings or desires1.
Sigmund Freud published this idea back in 19012 and the slip up named after him; Freudian slip. The expression of desire is brewing underneath and as much as the individual would like to hide what is lurking below; it slips out in words, mannerisms or reactions.
Reflecting on his observations, isn’t the “Freudian Slip” just the need for expression coming out of the individual?
“How wonderful it is to be able to write someone a letter! To feel like conveying your thoughts to a person, to sit at your desk and pick up a pen, to put your thoughts into words like this is truly marvelous.”
― Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood
I am of the age where to communicate with others far away, we needed a pen and paper. I had a few pen pals. Then as technology advanced, I could call and even email the friend. Looking back at what I wrote to friends and what they wrote (and what was written way before my time3), we are all sharing ourselves. We’re sharing what we find most important, what new things we learnt and the current local gossip. Writing it down, sharing that information with someone far away is such a happy release (apt quote above)
What if you there’s not many like minded friends nearby or no pen pals to write to? We are in the time of social media and the device to express yourself, well, it’s most probably in your hands right now.
“You are what you share.”
― Charles Leadbeater, We-Think : Mass Innovation, Not Mass Production
Anyone can communicate to a multitude of people in multiple languages with a few presses on a screen or keyboard. This ‘new’ way of communication where you can put out an idea and let it float in the internet - sounds great. But, have there been instances where you’ve been exposed to more than what you were bargaining for? Possibly a cryptic post/image from a friend, acquaintance or celebrity? If you’re part of the private circle who is aware of the undercurrents of the individuals life, you can probably see past the subtext of the post and see what they’re trying to communicate with others.
I think that the cryptic post is people wanting to share and express themselves but for some reason, can’t let it out completely. Either for social stigma, employment or otherwise. So the social media subtext post is created.
What if the social media post isn’t enough? What if you need to really express yours4elf to another human? What are our options?
“There's no way at all that you can defend yourself against this Court, you have to admit your guilt. Make a full confession as soon as you can”
― Franz Kafka, The Trial
I do think the Confession box was early stage therapy sessions. Bak in the day, like middle ages, ff there is something bugging you, feeling guilty about something burdening your mind, you’d head to the confessional. Talk to a priest through a grill and generally feel better about expressing yourself without ousting yourself. Admittedly, this isn’t foolproof and as above, it is early stage therapy5. That has been refined and now we can go to therapy.
Therapy helps helps improve mental wellbeing and overcoming challenges within an individual’s life. Yes, there might be some shopping around to see who you jive with. Nevertheless, in confession or therapy, you express yourself more freely and say what the issue is out loud. Though, the priest shouldn’t offer too much, just give out absolution and penance.
I bring up speaking out loud because of Prof Frank Dance6. He put it forward the hypothesis of the acoustic trigger to conceptualization7, or, that saying things out loud helps see things better. And what happens in confession and therapy? We are forced to express ourselves out loud.
Previously I did a review of More: Memoirs of an open marriage and in that book the only thing, to me, that made sense were the therapy sessions. There was these emotions the author experienced after some situations and they were untangled in the therapy sessions. I know personally and from chatting with friends locally, therapy has been a massive help8. You’ve got a coach who is not too close to the situation and generally not biased to hear you out, disentangle what’s going on in your head.
Besides, the happy feelings and gossip is easy to share. But when challenges arise, when you want to communicate the hard, challenging things in life, we might need a bit more help.
“The truth is rarely pure and never simple” - Oscar Wilde
If a child wants something, they ask or yell for it. Their filter to make their desire a request or question has not been build up yet. Then with learning, schooling and social interactions, they turn into adults who manipulate the way they communicate to get what they want. Even though being taught to filter yourself to fit in with society, what we want to express within still comes out. Through a slip of the tongue, a call to a friend or a social media post forewarning of a breakup soon to happen; it always comes out.
I didn’t even touch on what happens if we don’t express ourselves. If emotions are repressed they can make us physically sick9. Chronic illness’10, lack of sleep11, skin problems12, digestive issues13 and the list goes on.
Its only natural to want to express and share. To express what we’re felling either in a text, repost, a therapy session or good friends. Suppressing this natural need to express, doesn’t end well. So share what you got dear ones.
https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-a-freudian-slip-2795851
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Psychopathology_of_Everyday_Life
https://www.irishtimes.com/culture/books/a-little-box-and-a-dark-history-the-collapse-of-confession-1.1730886
https://nicolaa5.tripod.com/articles/confess.html
https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Frank-Dance
https://eric.ed.gov/?id=ED154439#:~:text=Date%3A%20N%2FA-,The%20Acoustic%20Trigger%20to%20Conceptualization%3A%20An%20Hypothesis%20Concerning%20the%20Role,Development%20of%20Higher%20Mental%20Processes.
https://www.reddit.com/r/selfimprovement/comments/mbexv4/i_finally_went_to_therapy_and_it_is_as_amazing_as/
https://www.bezzybc.com/discover/living-well-bc/health-how-emotional-repression-impacts-chronic-illness-plus-how-to-make-peace-with-powerful-feelings/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/being-awake-better/202308/how-your-emotions-can-affect-your-sleep
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7498125/
https://www.vibranthealthmn.com/blog/the-effect-of-emotions-on-gut-health