The Obligation of Pasalubong
A dutiful gift from the Heart
Pasalubong; It’s a single world to describe culture, responsibility, duty and family. But to someone who is unfamiliar with this, we need a story to translate it properly.
Pasalubong, directly translated is; returning gift1 (this is my direct interpretation of it into English). But does that make any sense to someone unfamiliar with the Filippino culture? The pasalubong is a specific gift; to show your family that you honor them and think about them. This comes in two main ways: the first is a gift that is brought back to your family from time away. If you go on holiday, go away for a weekend you bring back a gift for the family. It doesn’t have to be fancy, it can be something small, a souvenir or food that might be new for the family at home. The other way is a gift brought when when you visit family, especially if you’re staying with them. Bringing something from where you live to share with them, as well as a thank you gift for letting them stay with you.
Hindi mo pinipili ang iyong pamilya. Sila ay kaloob sa'yo ng Diyos, gaya ng pagkaloob sa iyo para naman sa kanila.
You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them2
Family is Paramount
Now whey do we do this Pasalubong ‘gift giving’? It is done because in Filipino culture the family is paramount. The family is of upmost importance and should be at the forefront of everyone’s mind. The Pasalubong is a physical sign of your love nd care for your family. It’s a duty yes, but it comes from the heart.
My Nanay instilled the tradition of Pasalubong showing that you thought of the family even though you were not with them. When she was younger and working in the Philippines, I would hear about her travels from Pangasinan to Batangas, up to Baguio City and Manilla. She would bring something from the city to share with her family and close friends.
The other side of the coin
My late husband was not familiar with this tradition and when we would go away for trips or health check ups, I would allocate time to go around the area to shop for our families Pasalubongs. I did see him begrudgingly come along and after a few trips he presented some good and valid argument to stop getting Pasalubong gifts for the family. His arguments were:
We are only away for a few days; it’s not a proper holiday
We are going on holiday to take a break; lets use the time to relax and bond
We saved money for this break and the family understands that we are working and are taking this opportunity to recharge
All good points, but for me, it didn’t compute! How could I come back home empty handed to my family when I was away? It doesn’t feel right at all! So I replied with “Yeah, not going to happen” So, as a good husband responds with this he essentially said “Yes dear.”
As time went by and I kept on doing my thing searching for Pasalubong when we were out of town. I saw my late husband see how his family reacted to this new tradition of us bringing something back for them. He saw how his parents lit up with the surprise of receiving an unexpected and thoughtful gift. Then, one trip in Adelaide, my late husband and I were walking down Rundle Mall3. We were heading toward the Hindley St end of the mall and coming up to Haigh’s Chocolate shop. I remember him nudging me and saying “Let’s go get some chocolate for our parents”
After he said that, I didn’t ask him outright to see where he stood on Pasalubong, but I think he came around to adopt my family’s tradition of bringing something back to show them that we love and think about them even when we’re far away.
http://blog.junbelen.com/2013/10/09/pasalubong/
https://www.filipinopod101.com/filipino-vocabulary-lists/top-10-quotes-about-family
https://www.rundlemall.com/